Release and Attainment
by Sophisticus
Summary: Hawke returns home after helping to confront Hadriana, worried sick about where Fenris had run off to, only to find him waiting in her foyer. Shameless smut ensues.


By the time Hawke made it back to her mansion, it was well into the wee hours of the morning. The chantry bell struck a solemn two in the morning behind her as she pulled the front door shut and began tiredly shedding her armor.

Following Fenris' abrupt exit from the slaver dens, Varric and Anders had obligingly helped Saphira search the area for the elf. When he had been nowhere to be found, and no trail left behind, they'd retired to the Hanged Man to unwind over some drinks. However, even Norah's grudgingly served, piss-flavored ale had done nothing to soothe her anxiety, so she'd bid the two men goodnight as they turned to Wicked Grace to pass the evening.

She'd just dropped her gloves to the floor and begun unbuttoning her coat when a shuffling noise caught her attention. She raised her eyes and blinked in surprise to find none other than Fenris, standing from where he'd apparently been seated on the bench inside her foyer.

"Fenris," Hawke blurted. Relief washed over her; more than once this evening, the worry had come to mind that another group of slavers might have caught up to him, without his friends to help.

"I've been thinking about what happened with Hadriana," Fenris began haltingly. He couldn't seem to meet her gaze. "I took my anger out on you, undeservingly so. I was…not myself. I'm sorry." Here, at last, his gaze met hers.

"I had no idea where you went; I was worried," Hawke said, hoping her probing wasn't too obvious. His eyes dropped from hers, and her heart sank a little.

"I needed to be alone," the elf confessed. He turned and began pacing. "When I was still a slave, Hadriana was a torment. She'd ridicule me, deny my meals, hound my sleep. Because of her status, I was powerless to respond, and she knew it." His voice seethed with hatred, and when he turned back to face her he met her stare steadily for the first time tonight. "The thought of her slipping out of my grasp now…I couldn't let her go. I wanted to, but I couldn't."

Hawke's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"This… _hate_. I thought I'd gotten away from it, but it dogs me no matter where I go. To feel it again, to know it was they who planted it inside me…it was too much to bear." His shoulders slumped as he hefted a sigh. "Bah. But I didn't come here to burden you further." Fenris turned away, making to leave.

"You don't need to leave, Fenris," Hawke said softly as she reached out for him. Her hand caught his upper arm. His lyrium tattoos flared under her touch, and he whipped around to face her. His hands, encased in their clawed gauntlets, gripped her arms forcefully; he shoved her back until she hit the wall hard enough to leave her breathless.

Hawke stared at him, eyes wide in shock and heart banging a staccato rhythm against her ribs. Their heavy breaths collided in the mere inches left between their faces. His markings still shone a brilliant pale blue, his eyes wide and expression fierce. For a split second, she was unsure if he was going to kiss her or to kill her.

Fenris' wild expression faltered, softening down to something much closer to desire than bloodthirst. A split second's hesitation, just long enough for his glowing markings to fade back to normal, and then he brought his mouth down on hers with a fervor that surprised them both.

The contact felt as if a jolt of electricity tore through Hawke's body; for half a heartbeat she stood frozen in shock, before reality caught up to her shell-shocked brain. She began kissing him back, matching both the speed and intensity. His hands released their grip on her arms and slid down to her waist, pulling her close. Her hands, in turn, slid up his chest, ticking over the buttons of his jerkin and over the chest plate, before tracing up the sides of his neck to cradle his face between her hands. His kisses pressed deeper as she traced her fingers along the bottom edges of his pointed ears; Fenris let out a strangled groan into her mouth that she swallowed gladly. In return, he pressed himself against her even more, keeping her firmly pressed against the cool stone wall.

His mouth finally fell from hers, trailing heated kisses down the length of her jaw. His teeth grazed her earlobe before he nuzzled into her neck. She sucked in a shaky breath as he nipped the skin over her jumping pulse. At the same time, his hands began fiddling with the remaining clasps of her coat. "F-Fenris," Hawke gasped. The elf hummed in reply before biting again, hard enough to elicit a moan, then letting his tongue lave the same spot. " _Fenris_ ," Hawke tried again.

Finally, he pulled back. His face was flushed, as no doubt hers was too, and his pupils were blown wide with both desire and the dim light. "What?" he breathed.

"Maybe we ought to go somewhere more private," Saphira suggested. "Mother and Bodahn are still here, after all."

Fenris nodded thoughtfully, but leaned in to kiss her again anyway. "Very well," he murmured at length, before finally pulling away. Hawke caught his hand with hers, and walked with him across the main room, past her snoozing mabari, and up the stairwell.

Her stomach twisted with anxiety, giving a strange flip-flop when her ajar door and her giant four-poster bed came into view. "You don't have to do this if you don't want-" she began, but Fenris cut her off with another kiss. It was softer this time, but no less intense.

"I wouldn't still be here if I didn't want to be," he assured her. At this, her anxiety eased by a modicum, but she still gave a nervous laugh once her door closed behind them and Fenris pulled her towards her bed. He swallowed her laugh in another burning kiss.

She broke away to peer at him. "Are you sure you're alright with this? You said you have no memory of doing this before-"

"Hawke." Fenris waited until she met his gaze. "I may not remember ever having done this before, but I'm fairly certain it doesn't involve this much introspection." His hands slid up her sides, finally sliding her coat off and letting it crumple on the floor. Goosebumps erupted over Hawke's now-bare arms and she shivered involuntarily.

"I suppose you're right," she admitted, turning her own attention to the complex buckles that held his gauntlets on. One by one they fell loose until she was able to slide them off. The elf cradled her face between his now bare hands, and kissed her again. His hands felt wonderfully warm on her skin, and she sighed into his mouth as his tongue probed into hers. Hawke had been with a few people back in Lothering, a couple of shy girls and one brash boy, but it had been at least seven years since the last time. It could be due to time dulling her memory, but she couldn't remember if her body had warmed so quickly with her previous lovers.

Fenris' hands slid down the sides of her neck to graze over her breasts, pinching briefly at her nipple through the fabric of her jerkin. Hawke caught his lower lip between her teeth as she set herself to removing his chest plate; moments later it clattered to the ground, followed closely by both of their jerkins.

Slowly, as to not interrupt their hands exploring each other's bodies, they began maneuvering towards the bed. The backs of Hawke's knees hit the edge and Fenris took advantage; he shoved her shoulders none too gently and she fell backwards onto the mattress with a breathless laugh. The corners of Fenris' lips quirked up in response, and he lowered himself over her almost lazily. The lamplight glinted dully off his intricate lyrium tattoos, and he shivered under her touch as she ran her hands over the flat planes of his chest. She traced over various scars, some of which she knew the story behind.

Fenris' hands fell to her breasts, fiddling with the clasps again until her breastband came undone, freeing her. His mouth found her neck again, and Hawke hummed in satisfaction as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of her pants and finally, slowly slid her pants off and onto the floor, leaving her completely bare underneath him.

Saphira's breath hitched as one of his hands began sliding down her torso, trailing hot lines over her bellybutton to slip down between her thighs. A single finger gently parted her folds, and she gave a breathless moan as the pad of his finger rolled over her bud. Her hands fluttered uselessly at Fenris' chest before settling on his muscled back, nails dragging lightly over his dark skin as the heat built in her core. Fenris dipped the finger leisurely inside her; at the same time, her hand slid down to grasp firmly at the stiffness growing between Fenris' legs.

The thought seemed to occur to both of them at the same time that the elf was still wearing his leggings, so Saphira hooked her fingers into the waistband and pulled them down as far as she could reach; meaning, about halfway down his thigh. Fenris kissed her again as his hands left her skin to push his pants all the way down, freeing him.

Saphira took advantage of his momentary imbalance to flip them over. Fenris huffed in surprise as she leaned over him, chuckling in triumph. "I prefer being on top," she murmured, straddling him. A slow roll of her hips allowed her to grind lightly against his entire length; the elf's eyes fluttered and his hands fell to her hips, gripping her close. Hawke's head lowered to leave a slow, sensual kiss on his lips, before trailing down the line of his jaw to the sides of his neck. She didn't bite at first – she wanted this to last. Soft, wet, heated kisses, barely suckling the skin. Her tongue flicked out and traced along the lyrium tattoos that ran right above his jumping pulse.

Fenris sucked in a stuttering breath, his fingers digging into her skin. " _Hawke_ ," he managed to grind out. Hawke smiled against his skin, then rolled her hips on top of him once more, giving him a good firm nip at the same time. A strangled noise rumbled in Fenris' chest, and she laughed softly.

Her hand slid down between them to finally grasp his length, and Saphira angled him until his head pressed firmly against her entrance. Slowly, agonizingly, she lowered herself onto him, savoring every silken centimeter. Fenris' eyes slid shut and his lips parted with pleasure, and Saphira could have sworn his lyrium tattoos flickered for a moment.

"Is this everything you'd hoped it'd be?" she whispered.

The elf's hands slid up her torso, pausing to lavish attention on her breasts once more. "It's better than I could've ever dreamed," he replied hoarsely before pulling her down. He kissed her, hard, and she couldn't help but give a soft moan as his hips bucked underneath her own. It took several seconds, but their hips found a rhythm that worked; rolling and grinding, slowly at first but steadily gaining confidence, eliciting small gasps and groans from one another. Fenris' fingers plucked and pinched and rolled her nipples, sending jolts of excitement directly to the middle of her belly. In return, her fingernails scraped down his chest, always careful to never release her magic upon him but unable to stop her mana from reacting to the lyrium in his skin in _interesting_ ways.

Fenris sat up abruptly, his pupils blown wide with heat and desire, so that Hawke straddled his lap. This new angle only served to push him deeper, and their mouths clashed heatedly. She tangled her fingers into the elf's snowy hair, lost in the bliss radiating from her core. Fenris' hands grasped firmly at her ass, jerking her close in time to his thrusts. Hawke's nails dug into his skin as the heat rose inside her; the waves of pleasure crested over her and she gave a stuttering cry as she came hard around him.

Fenris' movements slowed to a stop as Hawke slowly came down off the high. Her breathing sounded harsh to her own hears, but she couldn't be bothered to care. The elf brushed strands of her jet black hair out of her face, brushing his lips across hers. "Do you feel better?" he asked, a laugh hinting in his voice.

"Much," Hawke sighed.

Fenris' eyes glinted. "Good." A mischievous grin was Hawke's only warning before she was flipped onto her back; once more, the elf loomed over her, this time with a triumphant smirk. His knees nudged her legs apart as he lowered himself down onto her. "Because now it's my turn."

On a normal day, Hawke already found Fenris' voice attractive. Though at times it could be rough and gravelly, occasionally it would lower into a deep, rich bass, smooth as chocolate and twice as delicious to behold. In this moment, with his hard body pressed hard against hers, the warmth and tingling of her orgasm still sizzling within her veins, every rumbling syllable went directly to the hot spot between her thighs.

"Let's see what you've got, then," Hawke breathed, and she spotted a flash of teeth bared in a grin before he ducked his head to suckle again at her neck. She let out an unrestrained moan as his teeth caught her skin, undoubtedly leaving a vivid purple mark that would leave little to the imagination. In one corner of her distracted mind, she made a mental note to return the favor later. In the meantime, she settled for leaving nail marks on his back as he reached down to position himself once more at her entrance.

It wasn't as slow this time, since he was already slick with her arousal and both of their bodies demanded even more, but to Hawke's sex-addled head, Fenris seemed to take his time sliding inside. The elf set the pace this time; fast but not hurried, but still delicious. He leaned back on his haunches and pulled her hips close in time to meet his rocking; this new angle felt even better than having been in his lap. His movement rocked her gently on the mattress, and Hawke knew her breasts were bouncing comically but she didn't care. Her hands grasped at the bedsheets as once more pleasure throbbed in her core; Fenris' increasingly hasty movements told her that he was nearing the end as well.

Hawke's cries rose in pitch and volume until once more they stuttered to a panting halt; at the same time, Fenris gave a strangled cry as his hips jerked once, twice, three more times before grinding to a stop.

There was a pause for a single heartbeat before he collapsed down on her. Their arms wrapped tightly around one another, not caring how sweaty they were, and their harsh breaths clashed as the two gave an exhausted kiss. Fenris pulled himself free and rolled off to the side, giving a tired but contented sigh.

Hawke smiled softly at him; in the dim lamplight, glinting both off his lyrium tattoos and the drying sweat on his skin, the elf looked more at peace than she ever had seen him before. His green eyes met her gaze steadily, with no trace of his earlier emotional anguish. He reached out and stroked her cheek gently; she caught his hand and kissed each of his knuckles, taking her time on each finger.

"Saphira."

The use of her given name caught her attention. Fenris' expression had intensified, and he gazed at her intently. "I don't have much of anything to offer you, save my presence at your side. If you'll have it, you'll have my sword in your defense whenever you call."

Hawke hummed thoughtfully, tracing the lyrium in his skin. "What if I want something more?" she probed hesitantly.

"Such as?"

Hawke's eyes dropped. Suddenly, inexplicably, she felt shy. "Your heart?"

Fenris' hand caught her under the chin and tipped her head up, forcing her to meet his eyes. "Then you shall have it," he swore, and kissed her again. This kiss wasn't hot and heavy like their kisses in the mansion foyer, but it was no less intense or full of promise. Just once, Hawke thought, things seemed to be finally going their way.


End file.
